Notes
shorts and tank...jesus christ.
however...this was fucking horrendous. something is up or i'm still just shit from a little cold? c'mon.
mile 9...had one of my intrusive thoughts while i was bathing in awesome misery but what was different here is that it was so matter of fact that it was like some kind of ah-ha moment.
the thought(s) are my self...just like some second party though to the other(?). but really neither are me...ya ya i know.
kinda went like this;
haha...you know what you're doing? you know what you. are. doing?
*no answer*
all this...everything...you are doing here dipping in mental/physical discomforts with these races and working out and all this other shit is in preparation for your own death experience. a big acclimation process, is what it is. it is after all, the the most profound thing one can go through, there is nothing more personal...for you that is.
*holy shit* followed by a moment of *holy shit* how is it that i didn't see this...this way, before?
because...you weren't ready to. now you are...and you can stop being afraid of it. it will always be there for you. there is no "now what?" for anything.
*holy shit* and *holy fuck*
writting this does the whole thing no justice...for it was toned down...a bit. i am not fucking crazy...hahahahaha. i'm not. but you are free to think as you will. you there...ego.
fuck you.