Notes
some of this was connecting fuckedness...
i happened upon the grave of rueben twombly, who died dec. 13, 1851. AE. 73Y.11M.13D. so when i saw the d.o.d. i plopped myself down and tried to conceive 164 years, almost to the day, where 8 generations were born and 2, maybe only 3 had passed. i could not...i tried to mentally flip pages backwards and found that i could not conceive and therefore could not feel anything passed my own memory. that i could only come up with mental pictures of history i've read or stories i've heard so it is all a past that only i perceive and therefore not real ...i then realized that even as i turned the pages back in my own memory...that they are only a perception of my own past so it can't be real. i then got the oddest feeling...like a total disconnect of everything...like i was not even there. i sat a moment to feel that...it was odd and scarey. then i took a picture of rueben twombly...i stood...said his name out loud so the earth he became could hear it and i left.