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Run: Race Previous Next

4/12/2024

Date

10:05 PM

Time

5 km

Distance

13:55.60

Duration

4:29 mi

Pace

No additional information was recorded for this entry.

Course<No name>

Notes

This race hurt so much. Not physically. It stung emotionally and really cut deep to no longer be loved by team mates who used to. It's painful to be moved on from before you're even gone. I wish I had some good motivation for one last hurrah but I know that ultimately I am going to be forgotten by everyone who I tried to help. I feel so useless and uncared for on this team right now. I hold no value. Without being able to hold value in running my value as person begins to slip. Running was what kept me up, and now that's fleeting and going away. Every lap hearing people cheer for anyone but me hurt. Knowing that my own team is ready to celebrate my defeat is not a happy feeling. Knowing that my coach is ready to tell stories about what I could have been or how much better the next guys are hurts. I always knew that wanting to be the best would be hard, but I didn't ever think it would take this emotional toll. I expected the pain to be physical and manageable. Instead I hardly even really hurt during this race. I instead got my heart ripped back out of chest, just like last week and the week before. The only solace that I have is running fast, and people who used to care about me are even taking that. Each day is back to being harder than the last.

Comments

Jacob Green

No matter what anyone says at the end of your time here at Wartburg, I can confidently say that you were one of the guys who helped me along the way early on. The days that were tough my freshman and sophomore year, having someone like you in my corner and keeping me going was something that never went unnoticed. You are way more that what a clock says at the end of the day. Way more than all of the "what could have been." We all have those, both of us know that so well. You got me, I got you <3

Moriah M

Hi Christopher :), please please please, read this and know that I mean it with every fiber of my being. I am not going to pretend that I can relate to how successful you have been at running — in a pack of gazelles, you would surely be one of the most beautiful to behold amongst them for your running ability. But, I do want to tell you, like all of us “gazelles,” I realized after college that a gazelle doesn’t mean much if it can’t run… or does live up to what was expected of it.

Moriah M

It has taken me a really long time Christopher, to realize that you are valuable for being you. Thankfully, we are not gazelles, we are people. You are not special because you can run — you are special because: you are. That’s it. I’m glad I got to meet Christopher Collet, Carina Collet, and Caroline Collet, and all the other Collets on Earth — not because they can run, but because they are some of the coolest people on the planet.

Moriah M

I tried to live up to the expectations I had for myself, coach’s expectations, my teammates expectations — the idea of what I could become. I never lived up to any of it. In my own eyes, I totally failed.

But in the end, I think I’ve learned a more important lesson. Who we are is more important, more valuable, and more real than anything else. What you bring to the table as Christopher Collet — just a dude out there in the world going to school and trying to live life — is enough. :)