Notes
Well. This happened. My goal was to help the DMR qualify for nationals. I failed.
The Good:
-Frosty's hug
The Bad:
-I dropped the baton 30 meters in. Not sure what happened, but I was jostling for position and the next thing I knew, the baton was flying across the track. I had to turn around, grab the stupid thing, then sprint to get back into the race
-I never got fully back into the race. I was on panic mode (I actually swore when I dropped the baton), and the rest of the race was just autopilot, trying to catch up.
The Ugly:
-I ugly cried for a solid ten minutes after I handed off to Jade.
-My self-deprecating thought process for the rest of the night. Some choice examples include, "I'm so selfish. I can qualify for myself, but I can't help my team?" "I am the lowest scum to ever walk the earth" and, my personal favorite, "I don't deserve to compete at nationals if I can't fucking hold onto a baton for MY TEAM"
No one blamed me, which made it even worse than if everyone would have said, "It's all your fault." Why do they all have to be so nice to me? I am throwing myself a pity party, then moving on. The phoenix has to turn to ashes before it can be reborn.