Notes
Warm-up jog with the fellas over to GVP with the intention of running the 800m repeats but my achilles was acting up on the way and so I decided to sit it out. I am frustrated that it happened. My hamstring was also very tight by the time I was running back on campus. I can't seem to get that tightness to go away!
I am logging this the day after.
So I talked with coach today a little about the race and a little about this week. He still has faith in me for this season.
My entry on Saturday involved the expression of a lot of the thoughts that were going on in my head. So I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what I want to do. B.Lang was right in saying that I shouldn't be running solely for the purpose of scoring at meets. I know and understand this but I was having trouble practicing that understanding. I admit that I was focusing on the fact that I feel sub-par. I will not, however, just stop because my focus was in the wrong place. Instead, I am choosing to reinvent my attitude for the better.
The team has a dynamic, and I do not intend to say that the last person on our team isn't important because they are.
The reason I feel like giving up is because I keep thinking about where I was or where I want to be. That is not the way to get over my situation and move on. Giving up on cross country would allow me to get away with the idea thought that it is ok for me to give up when things aren't as I planned for them to be.
That is not what I intend to do. I am working on taking this season of cross country more seriously and expecting a come back (and its not easy for me to do this). But I think that it will be for the best. I also agree with Coach in that training on my own to prepare for indoor track will not leave me in as good of shape as if I did cross country.
So I will continue with cross country.
But if another race comes where I have to slow down to the point of a jog because my hamstring or anything else, I will probably drop out of the race for the sake of my well-being.
I will be back. This I am sure of.
I just can't help but ask, "when?".
Today is my birthday too.