Germs, bacteria & marital discord...any advice?? (Read 992 times)

As many of you know, I'm married to a formerly-Amish man. He left the Amish many years before he met me, but still carries some of his upbringing (good & bad) along with him today. My Amish mother-in-law is your stereotypical "Monster-In-Law". My MIL & her evilness is another entire series of threads, but suffice it to say, for the purposes of this thread, that MIL & I have entirely different standards of cleanliness & disinfection! While I probably use more Lysol, bleach & other such products in a year than some entire states use, my MIL probably doesn't own a single bottle of said products. Now, I know there are a million arguments regarding the amount of disinfection one should perform in their house. And before Zoomers jumps in to amuse (or perhaps horrify) you with stories of my obsessive cleaning tendencies, I'll jump to my own defense & confess a few oddities! I clean, I enjoy cleaning, I use cleaning as a form of therapy. When my son was just an infant, the pediatrician had to tell me to stop the twice daily scrubbing of the bathtub with The Works, as I was giving the helpless lad a serious case of eczema. I used to disinfect the doorknobs, light switches, etc twice a week and scrub the entire kitchen & bathroom at least once daily! I have relaxed my standards considerably since then, though it is not unusual to find my scrubbing the kitchen floor a few times a week or cleaning the toilets every other day or more (hello, there are 2 young boys & my husband living here, need I say more??). I'm also fanatical about disinfecting before & after handling any raw meats. I'm fanatical about food storage & preparation. Though I confess to enjoying my steak medium rare (I know, not the safest way, but blame my pregnancy with my daughter...she turned me in to a carnivore!), I am a little obsessed with properly cooked birds & pigs! In contrast, I've yet to spot a disinfecting product in my MIL's house. She would think nothing of cutting up a raw chicken on the counter, then slapping the veggies in the nasty chicken slime. And enough ice to keep the food in the cooler actually COLD would be a waste of money (remember, Amish, no refrigerator)! As I've told my husband, "your entire family could likely lick a growth plate full of e-coli and never so much as have to fart later!". Ok, so perhaps that was a little harsh, but no joke really...I've seen my husband eat things I wouldn't feed a rabid dog to keep him from eating me & the man never gets sick!! In contrast, every time I go to his family's house for a meal, I end up with a raging, pissed off GI tract for 2 days! So here is my issue: My MIL sent a "gift" of the biggest MF'ing turkey I have ever seen, as well as half a dozen chickens to us. They were all birds that the family raised & butchered themselves. When they arrived here from Ohio, they were in Rubbermaid storage tubs with ice & were, at least, still cold. They were all swirling together in a fantastically yucky mess of their own slime & juices. I'm uncertain as to when they were butchered. I'm certain the butchering conditions were what I consider to be, less than sanitary! Who knows if they were kept cold prior to shipping. And the Lord only knows what the tub had been used for prior! My husband insists that we use this turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Though we do have a few of his family members and their iron stomachs coming, the rest of our guests are friends & family who are not accustomed to such GI brutalization (Zoomers & family might be present too, so think of her well being!). He also wishes for me to cook the chickens for dinner. While I realize that proper cooking can kill certain nasty things, I'm still a little squeamish about using these birds. I was hoping to buy a second turkey, citing the need for more meat with the large crowd, but this particular bird is about a 30+ pounder!!! I'm hoping to not be able to find a container large enough to cook it... The problem is, my husband will be insulted if I don't use them. He sometimes thinks I'm being ridiculous when we do the "camping at the in-law's" weekends when I refuse to drink the dairy products, etc. While I love raw milk, I require that is stored at an acceptably cold temperature, which my MIL does not do! Trent, feel free to jump in with any comforting medical information which will stop my intestines from convulsing in fear at the mere thought of ingesting the certainly tainted birds!! How to keep peace & not poison the family & friends, folks?!?! That is the long-winded question I need answered!!! Eryn

My husband insists that we use this turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Though we do have a few of his family members and their iron stomachs coming, the rest of our guests are friends & family who are not accustomed to such GI brutalization (Zoomers & family might be present too, so think of her well being!). He also wishes for me to cook the chickens for dinner.

Well, that's one way I can lose weight, right (though Dane can't afford to lose...little stinker)?! Hmmm...not so sure I would want my brother and his awesome GF getting sick right before having to drive back to Chicago, though...I like the new woman in his life and want to keep her around! k

My vote - dump the birds. That just sounds like a trip to the hospital in the making - or many trips to the toilet at the very least.

As far as cleanliness goes, I'm an Oscar fan in the house and a Felix fan in the kitchen. Once upon a time I held an NSF Foodservice Sanitation certificate, and I'm a stickler for proper food handling procedures. The two primary factors for sanitation are time and temp. You don't have either in your favor, I would concoct a story about a poultry thief on the loose.

Cook the gifted birds for the in-laws and purchase a chemically enhanced, hormone-laden, frozen one at Meijers to cook for your non-in-law family guests with the not so cast iron Amish stomachs. Probably not a practical idea at all, but hey, we're just brainstorming here. We have about 18 days to come up with a more solid solution for you Eryn. ps - I LOVE your's and Zoomer's side of the state.

ps - I LOVE your's and Zoomer's side of the state.

That's why you're gonna come run the GR Marathon with us next year, right?! I know there are a few other RAers who are already thinking about it. Sure could be a fun excuse to drink beer! k

(that all said, while thorough cooking may kill certain bacteria, it does not always kill their toxins).

Well I wouldn't want to eat em!!!!!! But I'm vegetarian. As for the discord, I resolve everything with sex. It works very well in general. As my husband said to me last night as he stood in the torrential rain to light fireworks for our children's preschool 'This my dear is a two orifice compensation deal.' My Mum bleached everything and then some. As babies we were only permitted to play on a bleached plastic cloth with bleached toys. When eventually my Mum let us out into the real world we became terribly sick. Food poisoning and bacterial infection were constant. We also got bathed in diluted bleach which gave us a constant state of thrush. I love to clean but (don't vomit here Eryn) the only area of my house that I use bleach is the toilet. My kitchen surfaces are wiped thoroughly after every use but not with bleach, just wiith hot soapy water. Anyhow, have a great Thanksgiving! Claire xxx