Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon

Think Monkey (Read 696 times)

12 Monkeys

    Wrong answer.

    Correct answer: Dizzy Monkey.


      Wrong answer.

      Correct answer: Dizzy Monkey.


      Oooo.  Your fever addled brain popped out a good one.  Dizzy Monkey + Monkey Shitface Relay = Dizzier Monkey.



        Yup. I'm in for Dizzi(er) Monkey.


        A Saucy Wench

          Yup. I'm in for Dizzi(er) Monkey.

           By the time I finish you oughta be a load of done.   

          I have become Death, the destroyer of electronic gadgets


          "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - dd, age 7

          12 Monkeys

            - Hills have made their home around him.

            - The pheromones he secretes scare people miles away... in a slight, but measurable way.

            - He is the only monkey Chuck Norris ever apologized to.

            - One hour of jogging with him is equivalent to 16 years of consistent training.

            - He once beat Gary Kasparov at Chess, with his left hand.

            - He can complete a marathon in just 5k.

            - Trees swing from him.

            - if at first he does not succeed, then it is impossible. Like his race.

            - If he were to let you jog around his homeland, you would brag it to your buddies.

            - He considers the practicing of any skill to be a form of cheating.

            - The Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch think he is a myth.

            - If you are allowed to complete his marathon, no other challenge will be worthy of you.

            - When he talks, E.F. Hutton listens.

            - He can rhyme with orange.

            - Yes. He is the most interesting flying monkey in the park. Keep running my friends.

            Well, friends and fools, there are just about eight weeks to go.  Yep, Monkey is coming.  Like a freight train.  Which, of course, is much how it will feel when it hits you bright and early on Sunday, November 20, 2011.  Maybe about 4 or 5 minutes after the start.  Yeah, ouch. As they say, and they do say it, good luck with that.

            That's right.  Monkey is around the corner.  If you have not yet started training, then you are likely on the right track. I have been very clear, or so I have tried.  You cannot train for Monkey.  No need even to bother trying.  If you insist on getting ready for this thing, maybe go bowling. Replacing the pins with your legs.  That might get you prepared. 

            In the past weeks, some registrants have come to their senses and decided not to run Monkey.  If you are receiving this email, clearly your path to wisdom still stretches well into the distance.  However, I ask that should you actually come to your senses and decide to avoid becoming monkey bait, please let us know.  We have a number of additional fools on a waiting list, if you can actually believe it.  Yeah, I know.  You thought you were the only one crazy enough to run.  Well, apparently not.

            Anyhow, let me repeat some details about this rink dink, silly little race to get you started. 

            - If you are currently registered for this race, your registration info is posted on the website.  As before, please take a look to make sure it is correct.  Pay special attention to your number of monkey kills.  I have found a few of you entered the wrong number. Mostly, folks are pretending to be sane by listing fewer monkeys than they have actually completed. But the monkeys know the truth; they keep track of that sort of thing.  And as I have said, false bragger angers the Monkeys. And goodness, they are likely already going to be angry enough with your trespass this Fall.

            - Packet pickup will likely be at the Gordon JCC on November 19, 2011 between 2pm and 4pm. The JCC is located at 801 Percy Warner Blvd, Nashville, TN 37148. This is less than 2 miles from the race start/finish area. Here is a map to the GJCC: http://tinyurl.com/MonkeyPacketPickup . Packet pickup will also be available race morning adjacent to the starting line.

            - For those who need a shower, the GJCC will let you swing back by post race.  Please bring your bib and an ID.  They may ask you to pay a $5 guest fee to do so as well.

            - We are working on having Yazoo Beer available after the race to those who are of the correct drinking age. Yazoo is good brew, local and tasty.  And the Yazoo folk are gracious to support our little race and your suffering. If you want to enjoy some, please bring your ID with you to the race.  You don't have to run with it, but once the beer is available after noon, you will need your ID.

            - We ask all our volunteers and any runners who are able to bring some food and/or drink to share with the rest of the monkeys post race. Our participants' home-made smorgasbord impresses every year.  I will be making pies.  Lots of them.  What will you bring?

            - The website lists information about where there is lodging near the race and restaurants where you can dine over the weekend.  In addition, if you have further questions, feel free to holler or to put out a query on our message board: http://www.harpethhillsmarathon.com/monkeychatter/ .  If you post there, please don't mind the monkey business.

            - To reiterate, you cannot train for Monkey.  You may as well give up now.

            - We are always looking for volunteers on race morning. So if you know of anybody smart enough not to run who wants to come out and spend a sweltering or freezing morning in the park helping out, please let us know. Volunteers are awesome! And they are far wiser than you are.

            The days are waning.  Get your affairs in order.  And go find some hills.

            Think Monkey