Notes
So I definitely had just written up a touching, meaningful entry about my last race ever, and about the end of my high school running career, and then I hit a link in another window and it changed this window to the active window and navigated away.
SOO I'm not retyping that because I have too much homework. Funny how that happens. After AP tests. I'm ready to be done.
But not with track. Not with my competitive running career. But I guess today just kind of served to show that no matter how hard I try, I will always go through those cyclical bouts of running great and running like crap, and based on my recent times, I am descending into the depths of running like crap. I overtrained. The only taking one day off after my marathon is catching up with me. In a way, I did it to myself, I was just too blinded by ambition to see. And of course no one else could see, simply because working hard is always a good thing. Not.
But there's nothing I can do. No use crying about it. I'm just disappointed. That it had to end like that. But Megan had a bad race too. So it wasn't just me. Which sounds like a horrible thing to say, but at least it makes me feel somewhat better about myself. At least my splits were almost even. And I rallied after that second 800. Which shows that I still had fight. My 800s were 2:58 (how stupid), 3:22, 3:17, and 3:10.
Well, if nothing else, at least I had a good workout. And got to run for my team one last time. I'm positive that there's an alternate scenario involving me not running at all, because I would have quit the sport.
But it's just so hard to let go of the competitive aspect: you can take the Claw out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the Claw.
I think I want to be an XC coach one day. So I can help other people carry on the fight.
Well, I think that's enough. Not what I had written originally, but I need to go do homework.
I think it's time to close the book, and wipe away the tears, because the last time I checked, I have a marathon to train for.
"Cuz you can't jump the track,
We're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass
Glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands...
And breathe....
Just breathe....
Oh, breathe.....
Just breathe....."