Notes
Man. I really wanted to go hard today, too. I'm just sooo not used to not going hard. And it was really cold.
I really wanted to get more miles in. I'm like, craving miles. I need to get more in, because I'm starting to become obsessive about how I'm not getting enough in, and then I get really down on myself, and I just feel crappy in general. There is definitely a battle going on between the marathoner Tina Tallon and the two-miler Tina Tallon and I think one of them is going to win, but I don't know which one to cheer for.
This week was just all-around crappy, mileage-wise. I'm very disappointed in myself. I should be out there doing more miles after practice, but then I feel guilty because maybe I WILL be tired on Tuesday from doing more miles than Coach said I should, but then I feel guilty about not getting in the miles that I tell MYSELF I need to get in, and I'm just all-around confused about this whole thing. Not to mention scared to death about Tuesday. When Coach Lee went through the lineup today and I heard my name in the two-mile I felt like crying. I don't even know why. But I'm just so darn nervous.
Uggh. Okay, I have things to do. I hate being busy. As my car now says, "I'd rather be running."
But if I don't know anything about myself, which I do not right now, that is perhaps the one thing I DO know.
I just want to run.