Notes
Chicago Marathon 2016, race I had marked on my calendar from a year out, building it up as my marathon redemption tour. Let it be stated, I am proud of the work I put into this. There are things I would change in my build-up, but the last six months has been my most consistent stretch of running in my life. Outside of a handful of weeks, I was above 55 mpw, and even had 3 weeks over 75 (never had done one week over 70 prior to this training period). I made running a priority in my life, finally - not that it wasn't before, rather, this time it became a daily routine of my "adult life", which is what I wanted to ensure.
I had a feeling what happened on race day was going to happen. After my Hawai'i trip, I was not quite ever the same runner as before Great Lakes Relay. After my planned "recovery" period, I never recovered. August was a month of struggle and strain and September was spent trying to regain my fitness post-burnout. I was able to bring my long run back up to 18+ miles, but I knew that day I was in trouble as I really had a tough time 15-18. This past week punctuated that as there was no pop in my legs any of the days. I felt like it was time for some extended time off, but unfortunately there was a race to do first.
The race itself was an example of when everything goes wrong. Starting with my morning, I forgot my water at Bremma's and didn't drink anything from 5:00 AM until my little sips of water around Mile 8 or 9 and then my Tailwind at mile 13. During the race, the 3:00 pace group was all over the place. I was doing so much thinking about what I needed to do, whether I should go around them, stick with them - they were splitting 6:40 miles and talking about how they were going to negative split - that led to a little cognitive dissonance. In addition, that big ass group took up the whole street. I was stuck with them, boxed in for miles. As a result, people could not see me, cheer for me, and in the worst case, run with me. John was supposed to hop in with me at mile 8 - I was really relying on that. Not just for the tailwind he would provide, but I was in desperate need of company. It's crazy - you can be in a race with 40,000 people and just feel completely alone. It's sobering and really gave me some inner turmoil.
Up until Mile 10, I was running between 6:40 and 6:50 (with one 6:30 thrown in). I did not go out according to my plan (6:50s) and move up, but I couldn't slow down. Mile 10 Zac Avila passed me and that was kind of an emotional dagger. He had no business being there with me at that point (at least in my mind). It was then that I made a conscious decision to slow down because I knew the second half of the race was going to be trouble. I ran around 7:20s for a few miles, hit the half at 1:29, but around mile 15-16, I hit a wall. I guess the wall came earlier (mentally), but the physical wall hit me then. I had nothing. It was like the run with Henry and Justice a few months ago. Just nothing in my legs, side stiches became overwhelming and then my stomach started acting up. I ended up taking three bathroom breaks, so really my total cumulative time running was 3:23, but whatever. I walked a lot of the last third of the race. Every time I mustered fortitude to run, my side stitches shut me right back down again. It was very upsetting and I wanted to just quit and go home (I know, very melodramatic).
However, even feeling this way, I could see all the other people who were feeling even worse - people sitting, people stretching because their quads are seizing up - I could keep moving, I just couldn't run. I passed Manaois around mile 18 and that was a very sad time for me. Grace passed me around mile 20 and that was another demoralizing moment. Miles 16-24 I was passing about every 10-11 minutes. Finally, around the last 5K my side stitch started to subside. Mile 24, a blind person was about to pass by me and that finally jogged me back into reality. I didn't have energy, but I could run. Miles 25 and 26 (and the last .2) I was able to run without stopping for the first time in 8 miles. I passed a lot of people, particularly in the last half mile (got back down to 7:20 pace). Made sure I finished with a smile on my face.
This was not what I wanted. It's hard putting so much of yourself into something and coming out with such an underwhelming result. Two years ago I had no business running 3:13. I am stronger now even if the results did not show. I got a taste of what it is like to "not be a runner." We take for granted how easily we can run miles whether it's a short easy 30 minute run, or the two hour long runs wee can pound out. This race made me appreciate how long a mile really is (let alone 10 or 26 miles) and the people who do not have as easy a time running, yet still go out there and put out the effort. I am happy that I stuck with the race, as demoralizing and embarrassed as I felt during it. I was really happy I did get to see a lot of friends and family (and the post-race beers were nice too). I'll learn from this and use the experience of the last six months to come back stronger. I will probably stay away from marathons for a couple years, but once I finish my break (two weeks!), I will be refreshed with enthusiasm to take on the next goal.
Until then, all of my running enthusiasm will be channeled into the Urbana Tigers - be perfect.