Notes
I have been unsatisfied with my performances this year. This was another frustrating race. I actually think I am in PR shape right now, but this race ended up being slow early and I wasn't confident enough to take the lead early and get the pace where it needed to be. Even if I had run a PR though, and qualified, I still need to take a step back.
I have big goals. Bigger goals, even, than qualifying for the national meet. I have had glimpses of my potential - the three-mile time trial I ran at the end of the summer, the workout I did before Christmas break, the indoor conference 5k - but in general, I have underperformed. Two of my goals coming into this year were to win the national cross country meet and to run sub 14:00 in the 5k. I came nowhere near either, but I strongly believe that I am capable of both of these things. I strongly believe it, and I have for a long time, but the truth is I wasn't physically or mentally ready for it this year. I didn't sacrifice enough, I didn't push myself as hard as I could have, I was too stressed out, and I kept getting hurt. I tried too hard to be fast rather than just being fast, and I let running become something defined by numbers and apprehension rather than by beauty and fun. I want be a great runner more than just about anything else, and I won't let this bump in the road keep me from getting there. I will be ready for great things this fall. Now, its time to grind and hurt and love and fly with running this summer. It's time to remember who I am.