Notes
Finally caught up on logging but I didn't enter everything because I was pretty far behind lol, stupid school.
Anyway, I am content with the season but I suppose I am walking away a little unsatisfied. I don't really know why, I achieved all of my goals- helped get the team to nationals, podiumed at nationals, all americaned at nationals, ran a few PR's, placed pretty well at each meet. I just don't feel as awesome as I did last year after track, or even after cross. I ran my fastest times, placed better than I did in last years meets, but it just kind of felt like a meh season. I think I just expected more from myself and know that others expected more from me too. I don't like disappointing people. Anything I do just doesn't really feel like its good enough anymore. No matter how hard I'm training or how many miles I'm running or how much recovery stuff I'm doing, I just always feel like I have to do more! I DONT KNOW WHY HAHA. And now its more than ever because I feel like I just didn't reach the expectations placed upon me this season. I never really crapped the bed in a race this year, but I also didn't really do anything that special. I just feel like all my races were just solid. I guess consistency is good but it makes me feel like I didn't really take any risks. I just went through the motions.
Anyway, enough of my weird stupid thoughts. There was a lot of good to come out of the season. Like I said, I PR'd (in a race that I fell in, so that's kind of embarassing lol), became a cross All American, helped the team place at nationals. Honestly, I think my biggest positive takeaway from this season is that I'm walking away injury free, even though I ran some pretty consistent high mileage. I think that really helped me understand that I CAN put in some solid miles and stay healthy, which I think will really help me not get worried about aches and pains going into winter training. My arms got a LOT stronger and I felt like I really did focus on my weaknesses this season- I lifted more, slept a lot more, stayed proactive about injury stuff, and worked more on speed stuff.
That being said, there is a lot of work to do going into winter break. Even though I worked on my speed stuff, I think part of the reason I am leaving this season with an incomplete feeling is that I never feel like I finished any of the races the way I wanted to. I am so tired of being known as the girl with the bad kick. The only reason people like to race me is because they know they can kick me down at the end lol. I don't need to have the title of "best kicker" but I'm done with having the title of "worst kicker". I think I really need to focus on leg lifting this winter and putting more effort into my strides. I also want to get back into lifting more because I think it really would help my form, my healthiness, and my confidence. I want to keep my consistent mileage over winter and do some more XT doubles to also boost my confidence (maybe I should get into swimming lol). I really need to get my groove back and feel like a badass bitch again! For now, twoish weeks off and then time to get back to work! Thanks for all the support :)