Notes
We set out on our arduous journey at twenty-one minutes to four not fully comprehending the task at hand. Our goal was so difficult to achieve that many fellow warriors...cough Josh cough....Did not believe our goal was achievable. For a few minutes we were joined on our perilous voyage by our compatriots Sir Joseph Marcet, Lord Luke Laboe, and Count Jag of Greene Acres, but they lacked the mental fortitude that it took to venture across Diehl road, a journey so treacherous few men have ever attempted it. But a few minutes later we reached the mythical Mill Street Bridge over the grand trading route known as Interstate 88. Me, and my fellow warriors struggled to find a suitable path over the bridge without endangering ourselves by going in the path of the horseless carriages. For a few moments it looked as if the quest was over, dejection swept over our souls. It was only through the power of sheer determination that we found a route on the other side of the road. This was no ordinary path though, it required me and my fellow explorers to climb a sheer wall coated only in snow and mud. We only made it out because of the preparation thrust upon us by our dear Lord Stack who has always blessed us with the gift of strength. For the next few miles we were happy to see that the path was relatively clear, excepting a few "slushy" parts that brave soldiers like us could handle with relative ease. Upon reaching the fourth mile we encountered one of out greatest challenges. Enemy fighters had waged warfare upon the road, disallowing our entry with barbaric signs archaically printed to read CONSTRUCTION ZONE, and fences made of the strongest steel from the faraway kingdom of Ohio. For a moment we were perturbed at the violation of our right as noble fighters to roam the earth, but calm settled over us when we again remembered the gifts of Lord Stack to break the steel, and the blessings of Emperor Baganz allowing us to speed away from the enemy warriors clad in neon orange paraphernalia. It was once again smooth sailing for a while until we warriors reached our last major challenge of the journey. As we closed in on the park of the Sainted James, Baron Alger encountered major gastrointestinal distress forcing him to cower behind a tree and release a flow of butt nuggets form his noble rectum. After this evil had been defeated we continued to fight on to our goal knowing we were just minutes away from the goal of a journey that had started over 40 minutes before. When we reached the shrine of Saint James all three of us noble warriors let go a large whoop in celebration of our accomplishment. Upon reaching the point near the manor house of James' Shrine all three of us stroked the scrotum of the horse statue in hopes of good tidings on our return journey, although I must admit Squire Tyler rubbed the sack most vigorously. We them grabbed a brochure to prove to our compatriots that or journey had indeed been completed. Although we had reached our destination we all knew the most difficult part of our journey was still to come. We knew that the obstacles faced on the way there would be of no consequence as we could easily avoid them on the way back, but the added challenge of cold and darkness would indeed push us noble heroes to our very limits. I, King Benjamin, clad only in shorts from the realm of Running Warehouse and a light jacket, Squire Tyler, and Baron Colin wearing only tights and a jacket. Our clothes being insufficient we had only our mental fortitude to protect us from the elements. We all wished that we had listened to the wise words of Pope Wiesbrook IV "If you don't have it you can't put it on" and the advice of the learned Abbot Ashton "Don't be dumb". Finally, after a taxing total of 5407 seconds our brave souls made it back to our home realm of Naperville Central. We all wept at the sight of the familiar facade that greeted us. Basking in our triumph we sent victory snaps to all of the "haters", and inscribed our accomplishment upon the holy whiteboard. Sleep: 7.75 hours.