Notes
I needed to collect all my thoughts from the past few days to figure out some of the reasons why I went from thinking I could run 3:25, then 3:23, then barely going sub 3:30. But I’m happy with the result. It’s a bit of a magical thing that the PR happened despite everything, and I learned a lot from this experience. Even with being sick, I had struggles that had nothing to do with the illness (as far as I know), and looking at what other people did/have been doing, I realize that I have been treating my running like I do many things in my life: a lot of everything, but not enough true consistency or focus on one thing (yeah, I wrote a dissertation, but many people don’t realize it’s really just a bunch of long papers put together). What follows is a bit of navel-gazing, but I continue with the race recap below.
Some of my strengths that I’ve built on over the past year that I want to continue:
Ultra endurance: Knowing I can handle the pain of a 50k or 40-miler means that I have more faith in my ability to take marathon pain. My mental game is stronger, and I’ve learned that it’s all about relentless forward motion, no matter how one is feeling.
Weight: I am/was at an ideal race weight. It may not be the best distribution, but weight is not an issue for me.
Cross training: I did some strength training and cross training. I hadn’t done that during my Jacksonville training cycle, and it’s what served me in Berlin, where I got my last PR.
Heat adaptation: I really benefited from training in 80-degree weather and 90% humidity to the cold, dry weather of Philly. Unfortunately, due to being sick, my heart rate was elevated above where I’d like it to be early in the race with this kind of weather, so it wasn’t as helpful as it could have been.
A good training plan: Even though I interrupted it, I had hired a coach and had a solid training plan. It challenged me in all the right ways and gave me practice in the things I needed, like hills.
Support: Believe it or not, having a group of people to share in the ups and downs of the training and the race, both virtually and in-person, makes a big difference in mental strength. It’s more than just knowing there are people out there who will see you if you fail— always a motivation, it’s that there are people even watching you and care how you do. For example, I’ve only known y’all on this forum for a only a little while, and I have my support networks outside of this too, but coming on here a little under a year ago has made a difference to my running and competition.
I know I need to work on my weaknesses:
Mileage: While I know women who throw down 3:20s running 40- 50 miles a week, I may be someone who needs a bit more miles. I also don’t know how smart it was to run an ultra in the middle of training, and I only built up for 3 months. I probably needed a few more weeks, if not another month, of consistent mileage.
Workouts: my coach gave me more intervals, hills, and shorter tempos this cycle. I was missing MP runs, long tempos, and long-runs/fast finishes. I know that missing out on 3 weeks of workouts, with the exception of a race, did not help.
Nutrition: Even when I’m not limited in my eating by a sickness, I’ve been eating less the last few years than I used to. I’m not consciously doing it, or purposefully losing weight, but it’s been happening and I didn’t do much to stop it. I also probably drink too much alcohol during training. It inhibits my recovery and it’s empty calories, which is especially a problem if I’m not getting enough quality calories to begin with. I don’t eat totally unhealthily (fruits and veggies make up the majority of 2 out of 3 meals a day), but I could probably put more emphasis on better nutrition.
Muscle imbalances: In the race Sunday, I noticed that I wore down my quads way too early, likely because I don’t have enough strength in my other muscles. This has only been a problem for the past 2 years, and I don’t know why now and not before, but I want to do something about it. I know my quads are too tight and my hamstrings lack stability. I learned this two days before the race, when I saw a PT last minute and was asked to do a stabilizing exercise activating my hamstrings, and I was shaky. He told me I generally have too many muscles that are too tight. And I could probably strengthen my glute muscles too. Could I do more strength training? Yes. I need to commit to doing it 2 times a week; once is not enough. I need to combine that with stability training.
Hills: While it’s good I was proactive about the hill work, and I think the hills affected me less than they would have someone else coming from flat lands, overpass workouts are not enough. Or they were done at too slow of a pace. If I practiced running faster, I probably wouldn’t have been fatigued by the hills as much as I was. I am also thinking I need to do more stairs, which may also help with hamstring issue.
What went well before the race:
The optimism, the commitment, the weather, the fact that I could get some fuel in me morning of, that my RHR went steady and my HRV raised a bit, that the cold part never manifested in a cough or sniffles, that I made it to the starting line, that I had a free course for about 500m before others started catching up and I caught up with the last corral, that things felt pretty okay until mile 11, and that I was able to get some fast miles after that too. I was dressed appropriately for the occasion, not too warm and not too cold. Had sunscreen on my face and my sunglasses on (pity the folks who had nothing to protect their eyes when they ran straight into the sun). I also have a knack for knowing just how much to hydrate, so that was never an issue. I had a lot going for me.
What did not go well:
Feeling sick starting Wednesday. All the classic cold symptoms: I had a hard time eating breakfast, I got chills during classes, my eyes were watery and I was kind of tired, but not able to fall asleep that evening (first night of bad sleep. Two were to follow from Friday to Sat and Sat to Sun). I took zinc before bed on Wednesday, and that may have done something to my stomach, because I woke up nauseous Thursday, and still felt the fatigue and beginning-of-cold symptoms. Friday I felt sick during a lot of my classes. Almost thought of leaving the day halfway through. Barely got six meals in Thursday and Friday. I was not carb-loading the way I would have liked. I started noticing the back of my knee was really sore Tuesday through Thursday, maybe because of not wearing the running shoes (with the inserts, that provide stability) as much because of the taper, maybe because of the driving Veteran's Day weekend (note to self: do not agree to any out-of-town trips the week before a marathon). Saw a PT to get something done late Thursday. It was kind of helpful. Saturday was similar with fueling. Did my best, but I couldn’t finish a lot of the foodstuffs I started. I may have done too much walking, but I also didn’t do a shakeout run, so I don’t think that significantly impacted me.
Race recap:
OT: 3:29:40. Off original 3:25 goal by 4 minutes and 40 seconds. Still a PR by 59 seconds.
While I was running, at least still early on, I was thinking that I’d be able to write that the drama before the race was a lot more than during. I guess I found a way to add some drama to the race itself, as well.
Here are my splits:
Location Net Pace
5K 24:53 8:00 /mi
10K 48:53 7:52 /mi
15K 1:12:13 7:45 /mi
Half 1:41:42 7:45 /mi
30K 2:25:23 7:48 /mi
40K 3:17:34 7:57 /mi
Finish 3:29:40 8:00 /mi
As one can see, the race started well enough. I did start 12 minutes later than I should have, because I missed my corral start. Although I left my place at 5:17 (after going back up the stairs twice because I keep forgetting something), I didn’t get to the race start until around 5:50am. The time it took to get through the security, then the bathroom, then the gear check was too much. I was still in line for the gear check at 6:55am, seriously contemplating if I should just say goodbye to my change of clothes and carry my phone, and I heard them call my wave as I was handing off my bag. Next time I’m a solo traveler, I’ll book closer to the race start, so I don’t have to worry about gear check.
Once I got to the corrals, I figured out how to be at the start of the next one going, so I had the road to myself for about 500ms. I tried to keep myself slow, but I also didn’t know if I could trust my watch. It felt way too easy. As I caught the trail of the next group, I was forced to slow down, which helped bring the average of the first two miles to where I wanted it to be. Overall, starting with a slower group was perhaps mentally helpful, as I was constantly passing people, very rarely getting passed—even those last miles when I slowed down.
I honestly don’t remember much of the early miles. I remember trying to tell myself to stay slow, looking for darkwave around miles 1 and 6; I remember a blur of important national monuments but not taking them in the same way I did the day previously; I remember thinking, well, this is going better than expected; I remember my watch telling me that my early activity fitness was above baseline; I remember crossing the 5k mark and feeling good about the average pace, but knowing now I need to start picking it up; I remember lots of bobbing and weaving, though I did try to also just announce myself to that I’d be squeezing in gaps, to avoid too much lateral running; I remember taking a gel around mile 4 and also being grateful it stayed down.
Apropos gels: I had 6 Gus, 4 un-caffienated and 2 caffeinated. I took a gel at 6:30am before the race, anticipating that I’d be starting at 7 and want that fuel to kick start. I also kind of wanted to see how my stomach would react. The gel, still warmed by my pre-race triple-layers, was delicious and while I had to burb a few times in the minutes after that, it stayed down. During the race, each time I took a gel, I had a phase of burping, and a stomach ache or nausea a couple miles later. After the first time, I reminded myself of a mantra that I’d developed Saturday, as I realized the sickness was also impacted by my mood: “Your mind is stronger, Trotter.” I came back to that multiple time, sometimes preceded by telling my body to “shut up.” Every time I had body discomfort, I just said, “your mind is stronger.” I don’t think it always makes sense—some things one cannot mentally determine, but it worked for me to a point.
There were some beautiful stretches in the race; I solidly remember a point where we were on the road to where the parks were, and runners had the whole street to themselves. Both sides of the street were lined with big yellow, orange and red-leaved trees and the sun was shining through the leaves on this colorful mass of people, more visible because it was part of the rolling hills and that moment we were heading slight downhill. It felt really good to be alive and running in that moment. Too bad the whole race can’t be like that.
I’m sure there’s something to calculate about where the hills were and where my quads starting feeling sore, but I remember I could already feel it during mile 11. I had the same problem last year during Jacksonville (a little later, though, more like mile 13), but this time I decided it was normal, and I remembered others on the forum mentioning that they also had a phase around the middle where things got harder, but then easier again. So I had faith I could keep going. Still, my splits show that I slowed down around mile 14. I managed to not psyche myself out, though, and keep a steady rhythm as much as possible. I just moved myself up hills and let gravity carry me down. I got a little annoyed when people were slower than me on the downhills, and I did wonder if I was maybe taking them too fast sometimes, and whether I would regret it later (not much of a spoiler alert, but I did. At least a little).
I managed to have pretty good control over my thoughts and just stay optimistic, but that wavered at mile 18. The quad soreness was getting really uncomfortable, and more and more muscles on the back and front of the upper thigh were starting to make themselves known. I did have handle on pushing the negative thoughts away, but all of a sudden it didn’t work, and I think it’s also where I may have hit “the wall.” It didn’t help that we had yet another uphill at that point, and the power I was feeling all through the first half was long gone before the turnaround in Manayunk.
Still, I had "I am not throwing away my shot" written on my hand, so I was digging deep and relied on some of my stubbornness and all the optimism people showered me with these last few days to just keep it going. Can’t forget all the virtual wishes, but meeting up with darkwave and Fishy was great. Plus, I’d met Lauren Fleshman at the expo and gotten her to sign my bib. I did try and channel the power of Fleshman a few times throughout the race, especially at the end, but I was not able to do an impressive kick like her. The music helped too, at this point.
I had turned on my music around mile 7 or 8, where it became more rural. I turned it off at Manayuk, and then on again in the quieter bit between Manayuk and the city proper, turning them off when the crowd support got really strong again. Heard lots of people say my name, some even correctly! Turns out I did pick some of my music judiciously. Boston's "Long Time" is always great, but then Halsey’s “Graveyard,” The Script’s “Hall of Fame,” One Republic’s “How Does It Feel to Be Human?” and so on. I did skip a lot of songs that were either too slow or not hitting right. Nickleback’s “Last Day” came on mile 21 or 22 or so, and that was very helpful committing to the last miles when I’d convinced myself that I wanted to still go sub 3:30 and I would push through the end, even with some of those discouraging last splits.
I went through the 20-mile mark thinking of what Fishy said about it just being a 10K, but there’s not such thing as “just a 10k” when it’s the last 10k of the marathon. I think I had another lapse at 35k (knowing I had 7k left), but I was able to convince myself to just keep pushing for it—I just told myself how mad I’d be at myself after the race if I gave up now. Somehow, I was more motivated by my post-race self than anything else. My quads and hamstrings started getting borderline crampy, but never actually turned into one—I don’t know what I would have done if I’d gotten one, I was spitting in the wind at that point.
Despite being absolutely uncomfortable and really just trying to keep relentless forward motion, the beautiful fall day and glorious stretch along the river miles 22-25 did not escape me. I could imagine myself running or riding along there during training runs. It reminded me of running along the Elbe in Hamburg or the Havel in Berlin.
When I went through mile 25 with 3:18-something on the cumulative time, I tried to do running math and ended up with thinning that if I did the mile in 10 minutes and the last 400 in 2 minutes, I’d still be under 3:30. I didn't actually do anything to follow that (probably thank goodness) In those last miles, I had avoided looking at the splits or the total time, because I knew if I started calculating a minimum, I’d probably go for the bare minimum, and knowing me, I’d miscalculate and risk it. So I just pushed the absolute limit at that point. It’s a good thing I did, because all of a sudden, the finish was there, and I’d made it just under 3:30.
I barely registered the finish… I had kept looking for the 26 mile marker and the finish seemed so small, so nondescript as I ran through it. But then when I saw the runners before me stop, I felt a rush of relief, hit my watch, and came to a standstill. I had an immediate dizziness, which I don’t recall from previous races. So I know I was on empty at that point. I wanted water mostly, and collected my medal with a little burst of happiness of how cool it was with its ringing bell. Walking was hard, but I collected anything and everything that looked appealing to me at that moment— the chicken broth most of all. You would never offer hot chicken broth at a Florida race, but man does it feel good up north. I made a straight shot for the gear trucks, collected my stuff and changed as well as I could (had to ask someone to use their chair to put my stuff on to avoid bending down in any way). I was so relieved to be done, to have gone sub-3:30 after all, to have not given up. I found my Florida running friend and we chatted for a bit before I said I needed to head off to get to my room, take a shower, and head to the airport. Her fiancé joked that I was having quite a day.
I made it to the airport with enough time to finally get a Philly cheesesteak and use functioning internet to get some grading done.
Moving forward, I have a few races on the calendar, but I’m starting to worry that it’s too much. Or maybe that’s just the race-weary me talking. Right now I don’t want to think about running anything. I can’t believe I ran a marathon, a 40-miler, a 35-miler, and another marathon in the same year. That’s the most race miles I think I’ve ever done in a year, and it’s not done yet. There’s Palm Beaches in 3 weeks, and then there’s the Miami Half 6 weeks later (though technically a new year). I also have an 100-miler in four months. I think it’s too soon. I don’t know if I’lll be able to do it. Maybe I need to take a break. I want to get faster, and also faster at the shorter distances.